The following questions about Stick Insects are often asked at conventions and Owners’ meetings.

Where is the best place to get a Stick Insect?

Shops that are members of the Royal Association of Phasmid Retailers display the RAPP symbol. They will be able to provide after-care for the insects they sell, and often provide extended warranties which cover all parts and labour charges incurred as a result of loss or damage.

What about a cage?

Yes, they sell those, too.

What names should I give to my new Stick Insects?

Although most people use “human” names such as David or Susan, breeding fanatics use a complicated system of naming to reflect the stud history of each individual.  Usually, thoroughbreds will have two names: my own current champion is officially called Lady Gracien Destin Ramadan Illustria IV, but is usually addressed as Compton. The important thing is to pick a name you’ll be able to remember, and which trips off the tongue.

I think my wife is allergic to Stick Insects.  What should I do?

Don’t worry. Masks are available from many retailers which will suppess some of the symptoms of Phasmid allergies, including most of those concerning vomiting and stomach cramps.

How long do Stick Insects live?

Although it’s difficult to give a precise answer, the generally accepted rule of thumb for an insect that is well fed, kept clean and exercised regularly is 1 year, 2 months and 14 days.

My wife isn’t prepared to wear a mask for that long. What else can I do?

Don’t despair. Even without a mask, some symptoms of allergy soon begin to disappear of their own accord through a process known as habituation. Within two to five years, your wife should be breathing normally again.  Rashes can be treated by washing in a dilute solution of carbolic and vinegar, and itchiness relieved with a succession of cold poultices.

I’ve been told it’s either my Stick Insects or her.

Again, like most problems regarding Stick Insects, there is an easy solution.  In our experience, most wives have mothers who are sympathetic and will usually offer alternative accommodation.

I’m 32 years old, divorced and struggling to meet demands for maintenance, mortgage payments and food bills.

Stick Insects make ideal companions for those times in everyone’s life when we feel “low”.  A few minutes each day spent in the company of these delightful creatures is enough to gladden the hearts of the most downhearted people.  Consider expanding your collection.

One more thing - why is it that everyone you’ve mentioned on this website is dead, yourself included?

I really have no idea.